so...

I haven't written in ages? Ha. Well, I'm rather happy, quite glad I chose to stay at Downend, I know I'll stay in touch with the people that matter, and I am doing.. I've met loads of lovely new people too, mainly from mangotsfield. I'm surrounded by people that make me happy, it's good. I like in sixth form how people talk to everyone.. not just sticking to friendship groups.. or not as much anyway. I feel like I have a lot to say.... But would take me too long to write... Have a christmas temp job at next, as well as possibly some occasional waitressing thanks to Hollie :) So I actually have money to spend for a change.. but no time to spend it :P Everything's going really fast, it's odd.. these two years will fly by.

At Claires :)

Being ever so slightly anti social as Claire and Adele play Crash Bash... well.. it is two player so thats my excuse.
I havent blogged in ages... been busy with exams... and then my brother never seems to let me on the computer anymore. I cant be bothered with it that much if I'm honest.
Im quite happy at the moment. Well I keep changing my mind on that one really.
I'm worried about wasting the holidays and not getting round to doing anything of any vague importance. I want to get this camping trip organised :)
And I want to go to Spain... nice to have some weather you can rely on being nice.

I think I've gotten closer to some people recently, definately realised who's important, I really like my current group of friends... and how ever much I may complain about wanting to meet new people its just me being ungrateful because I really do love them :)
I need to stop being self conscious.. and care less about what people think of me, I'd have more fun that way :)

I cant stand the slight bitchyness there sometimes is with the people i go out with... I hope it gets resolved in a way, or that having space from some people when they go to St Brendans will make them all get along better. I hate two faced ness, I'm not too bad really, i dont think, but I could still be better.

I reallllllyyyyy reallllyyy like the people i've been seeing recently.. this summer despite the weather has been lovely so far because of them. Brand New was amazing with Beth & Sam and Go Dutch's last gig the other night... made me a bit sad at first but I did really enjoy it :)
I want to know how things are going to change next year. I really want everything to work out and not have to compromise my closeness with some people for closeness with others. I hate not having the time.. or managing it well enough to be close with everyone at once.

I'm happy for tomorrow, to see a close friend that I dont see enough of.. well like. I do in groups. but its not the same.. I need to do more things like that... I have plenty of casual friendships but some I could make a bit more effort with. I dont make enough effort. I'm too lazy.

Hmm. I'm sorry this isnt very interesting. My life isnt terribly eventful.
Will probably be ages till i blog again. Or maybe not. Comment if you wish :)

xxx

So... :)

I haven't blogged in a while...
Last time I attempted to I had someone reading over my shoulder and that didn't work out too well.
hmm.
I have Amara round, been having a lovely day in the sun. Cheekbones feeling slightly burnt though (n)

I love reading blogs, trying to guess who they're about :L
especially when my guesses are always completely wrong. Does make me laugh.
I love how amazing my friends are, I do think I'm rather lucky. I'm just starting to realise how, I really should appreciate the ones that are actually worth my time and effort :)

I make a twat of myself a lot, i do, but... that's life. As long as I can put up with getting the piss taken out of me after I think I should be left to my own accord thanks very much.
I'm glad none of my friends have taken to lecturing me. That would annoy me.
Also, while I'm at it.... I really dislike possessiveness, I don't think I'm the only one that feels like that its just... everyone's their own person. I don't understand it, well I do, but I think it's wrong. Sometimes.

Tbh. You don't need to have one best friend placed above all the rest, or if you do, you don't have to keep reminding everyone. It just pushes people out... Some people need space I think. People get overshadowed like that.

^ That's not aimed at anyone. (Amara just asked) it's just generally. The concept.

I hate being confused. I'm not too much now. But when I am it's the worst thing. I don't like to be put on the spot. I can't think on the spot. And I hate awkwardness. Sometimes. I want to talk... but then I think, why should I make the effort. Why should I be the first one... I hate how things are. Glad I don't have to be around that much :)
Not a nice feeling. But I have my suspicions things aren't going to change.

I'm raaather happy at the moment. Summer's finally actually here.
Also. I love and miss Beth Jones...
Brand New will be nice :D

xxxxxx

Eurgh.

Today was shit.
So boring.
I hate maths. I HATE it.
Seriously. The worst subject. I really wanted to do something this evening but everyone seemed to be busy (n)
I should've known today would be rubbish by the fact that the first thing i did this morning was pour milk all down myself when i lifted up my cereal bowl. Yes, I'm that intelligent.

buuuuut. I did get told today I was a good role model.
That made me smile :) Even if I'm not quite sure I believe it.
I want halfterm nowww please, I want to get into townn.

mmm. so we planned to have a bbq last night, that didn't work out.
"We're meeting at 7.15 outside tescos"
that didn't work out either, I turn up and noones there... ended up getting my mum to drive me down to Mark's :P
but besides a dodgy start it was a pretty good evening :)
Met Jack's friend Caz who's lovely, and just sat around talking.
Was freeeeezing though.
We all got invited upto Lici's at 10, but by that point none of us actually had the energy...

Oh dear. Hollie on the way back. aha, I really wouldn't have thought she was sobre XD was raaather amusing though :)

I love Hollie's house. I actually do :)
It's always nice to get back into the warm there after being out :P

mmm. Despite today being crap I'm actually in a reasonable mood.
I've got nice people cheering me up :)
And I'm glad I dont have any exams tomorrow :)
I suppose thats one highlight about doing the GCSE early.
Though I wont see it like that on Friday : /

riiight. im going now :)

xxx

I can see

That these are going to get a bit addictive.
I don't always feel like I have that much to say but I might prove myself wrong, on occasion.
I want to go ouuuuut
but the weather's crap : /
Last night was niiice.
Little kids make me laugh.

I should be attempting to read of mice and men this weekend, but its so dull... I watched the film, maybe thats enough... as long as i can reel out something fancy... the farm house reflects the microchosms in society... is that even the right word? It'll be fine.
I want to go to town.. feels like I haven't been in ages, I need new headphones, I'm currently using possibly the worst pair I've ever had.. have to put my mp3 on full volume to make it even slightly loud. My other ones broke.

I hate being poor.
I really really need money, I have hardly any credit and it's annoying me.
I need a contract phone, and a job.
Next year I'm going to want a laptop, and driving lessons...
Yeah. I really really need money. Have no idea where I'd want to work though.. or how to even get started on some form of a CV
It feels like we're running out of time for everything at the moment, seeing people, planning things for summer, exams... decisions.

Need to go call someone, see what people are upto toniiiiight :)

Jess
xxx

Tyler's

reaction to my page has guilted me into writing a bit more.
"You have 5 followers when all you've written is that"
aha, so I haven't really been on here before properly, and am starting now..
English AS exam tomorrow to look forward to :

Also, I've decided I'm staying on at Downend...
I couldn't choose between there and St Brendans but, I think I'd probably start to miss people.. and Downend's just easier I guess. : )
So I'm settled now. Hopefully. And I'm going to make it work and be happy about it.

It's 5 weeks today until my last exam, they're going to drag so badly.
Brand New on 23rd of June! Have just been trying to organise the booking of the train for Bethanie, Samuel and myself.

So.. I did my french oral earlier this week, and ever since have had this french phrase going round and round in my head.
"Quand je n'en ais pas besoin je vais tentre d'éteindre de la lumière."
Thats not even spelt write but it's something like that.
When I don't need it I will try to turn off the light.
I'm sure that's just the kind of thing I'll need to know if I ever need to speak French in the future...
I want to get onto the A level stuff... when I was talking to the french teacher at Brendans he made it sound good... and said French GCSE is only really useful for saying "the dog is on the cat" and I don't even know how to say that, though that was the highlight of the German lessons that I remember :P

I'm in a reasonably calm mood at the moment.. considering I have that exam tomorrow and havent done any work since I got home. Spent last two evenings watching American Beauty. I love it :) though I was expecting a big twist at the end and there wasn't really. Such a good film... seemed a lot more intelligent than some of the rubbish thats been coming out of the cinema recently :P

I really really can't wait for summer. There's lots I want to do... doubt I'll get around to doing any of it, but still.. will be good :)

Okay. I'm going to leave this for now.
I'm not exactly sure why anyone would be interested in reading this... but comments appreciated I suppose (Y)

Jess
xxx

Hollie's house

is nice :)

Just watched Ghost world. It was odd.